Understanding Relationships pt. 5 - Levels of relationships (The Jesus Model)
Jesus was definite about everything He did including His relationships. He was not emotional about choosing those that surrounded Him neither did He assume that everyone thought well of Him.
The Jesus model of relationship shows us that there are eight levels or kinds of people that surrounds every success oriented individual and knowing how to navigate through each level requires deep wisdom.
This model makes no room for the basic considerations that the average individual makes before going into a relationship such as emotional connection, social status, cultural affiliations or religious orientation.
It leaves no place for assumptions, for emotionalism or for an entitlement mentality due to proximity.
The Jesus model of relationship is centered around three things
1. Purpose
2. Loyalty
3. Fulfilment of God's vision.
Every individual was selected and prioritized based on the level of their alignment with the above factors.
Using this model in building your relationship is the surest way to predict the future and the performance of that relationship.
THE LEVELS OF RELATIONSHIPS
1. The Doctors - Mentors.
Jesus spent time listening to this set of people. They had a bank of knowledge that He wanted to glean from and when He had the chance He did not hesitate to listen to them and also ask them questions.
He would rather sneak out of his comfort zone and the company of His family and friends to listen to this set of people than to spend the evening galivanting from one neighborhood to another
He did not wait till He was old before He started relating with this set of people. He was not intimidated by their accomplishments neither did He feel inferior because of His age.
Despite the fact that He was God incarnate He still humbled Himself to learn from men that were embodiment of wisdom and a track record.
This was the only time we heard about Him when He was young and it is safe to believe that He did not totally surround Himself with those in His age category just because He wanted to fit in.
There is a saying that if you want to learn how to fly a jet then you need to listen to the right instructors.
Lesson: Create time to listen to uncommon mentors and as much as you can whenever you are opportuned also ask them questions.
Humble yourself and swallow your pride. Learning from uncommon mentors and teachers does not take anything away from you except your ignorance.
This level of relationship will add to your knowledge base and also expand your horizon and perspective about life.
Don't surround yourself with those in your age category alone.
2. The Pharisees - Critics.
Only those that have never attempted to do anything exceptional will lack this set of people around them.
The critics never sees anything good about you. They are always on the lookout for a negative talking point and when they find something that they don't seem to understand about you they capitalize on that to make all kinds of derogatory and exaggerated statements about you.
This set of people hate you and what you represent. Your success and the fact that you are purpose driven intimidates them. Your visionary lifestyle exposes their life of complacency and passivity. Your desire to make meaning out of your life exposes their desire to be mediocre.
Jesus never wasted His time fighting His critics, rather He went on producing more results.
Secondly, Jesus did not for once assume that they had changed their minds about Him because they were present in all His meetings. He
Thirdly, Jesus never hated His critics. If He did He would have vented on Nicodemus when he came at night.
Lesson: Don't fight your critics, focus on producing more results.
Never confuse the present of your critics for loyalty. Until you notice a significant change in their thought pattern never assume their kind gestures for kindness.
Don't hate your critics neither should you prioritize them. If you focus on producing results there is a possibility that they can truly change and see things from your perspective.
3. The Multitude - Well wishers.
This set of people are those that admire you for what you represent and for what they have benefited or will benefit from you.
They only come around when they have a need and the moment that need is satisfied they disappear only to reappear when there is a need again.
This set of people are willing to believe anything about you, good or bad.
They are not loyal to you in anyway. They don't love you nor do they hate you. Their disposition about you is momentary. When the moment changes their disposition also changes.
Lesson: Identify this people early and never commit to them. Also, never expect anything from them.
Relate with them from a sincere heart but don't mistake their kindness for love and loyalty.
4. The 5,000 - Passive And Indecisive Students.
This group of people are similar to the last group only that they are more consistent.
They were the most confused when in this model of relationship. One minute they are with Jesus, listening to His teachings and even enduring the rigor of staying in the wilderness for three days without food and the next day they are offended because of something Jesus said.
They wanted to be with Jesus and follow Him everywhere but they wanted to do it at their terms. They don't mind listening to Him but as long as He does not jeopardize their long held theology they are fine.
This category of people are comfortable with whatever mindset and thought pattern that they have held for long. They will fume and even attempt to hurt anyone that tries to rock their boat by challenging that mindset.
Their allegiance is to their mindset that has come from incorrect programming and the only way to be their friend is to subscribe to the same mindset.
Lesson: Honour people's ideological construct but never compromise a standard and excellence driven lifestyle just to accommodate people.
As a leader, these are the set of people who come to you with questions and challenges yet they have already made up their mind on their course of action.
If they are not willing to relinquish their faulty thought pattern and subscribe to a quality mindset you should respect their decision and let them be.
5. The 70 - Growth Driven Students.
This set of people were once in the 5,000 category but they chose to relinquish their faulty thought patterns and take on a new mindset. They were also willing to take the risk to experiment what they were being thought.
This group of people are passionate about making a meaning out of their life and they are not afraid to challenge the status quo.
Lesson: Identifying this set of people will save you the stress of investing your time and energy on the wrong people as a leader. When you find such people don't hesitate to teach them what you know and also create a platform for them to practice what they were taught.
However, don't mistake their passion for loyalty. The fact that they are passionate about learning and fulfilling their purpose does not mean that they are passionate about you.
Identify and invest in the right people but also understand that passion for learning is different form passion for you.
6. The 12 - Passionate Students.
This set of people were not only passionate about learning and fulfilling their purpose, they were also passionate about Jesus.
They followed Him when it was convenient and when it was not convenient. They obeyed Him when they understood Him and when they didn't.
The only time they questioned Him was when they had a life threatening experience in the boat and when He revealed to then that He was going to be crucified.
They prioritized Jesus above and beyond anything else. They left their families their job, their communities and their friends just to follow Him.
If they could they would have died with Him, they loved Him that much. However, just like every human being, deeply seated in the heart of this set of people (despite their love for Jesus) was a desire for reward. They did not follow Him because they wanted to be rewarded, however, it is natural for every relationship to have some kind of reward system and they were not hesitant to notify Jesus of this.
Note, they did not start their relationship with Jesus because of what they wanted, but as time went by it was obvious that they had expectations.
Lesson: There is nothing wrong in having expectations in a relationship, however this should not be the basis for getting into that relationship.
Secondly, when you have people that prioritize you in this manner it is important for you to also prioritize then and create a system of compensating them their sacrifice.
People will not foolow you indefinitely just because they like you. Every relationship must produce some kind of fruits in other to sustain the health of that relationship.
7. The 3 - The Inner Circle.
This group represents your closest relationships. Your spouse, your children and your trusted friends.
This category of people represent those that love you for who you are and not necessarily for what you represent.
One reason most people get frustrated in their relationships is because they give everyone that comes into their life the same priority status that they give to those in this category.
In the Jesus model of relationship this group represents the fewest of people. These are your confidants and your burden bearers.
Lesson: Always reserve a place in your life for the people that love you.
You should prioritize this set of people and so commit your time and resources to cultivating level of relationship.
Don't be too quick to add people into this category.
8. The 1 - God The Father.
This is the most important relationship that Jesus had and He displayed this fact by His priorities.
It doesn't matter how busy or successful He became He always created time to commune with the Father.
Whenever there was a challenge or even shortage of resources His first point of call was to place demand on this relationship.
His stability, confidence and stamina was derived from this relationship and in His darkest moment when everyone left Him the only relationship He turned to was this.
As an individual, who you run to in time of need and where you go to on a consistent basis reveals who and what occupies this part of your life.
Not to create and invest in this level of relationship is to set yourself up for utter failure.
Every other level of relationship has their elastic limit. It doesn't matter how much you invest in them there are times when they will fail to come through for you.
A relationship with God is failure proof. It has the capacity to stand the test of time. He is the only one that will never ever leave you nor forsake you.
Today, He extends an invitation to you. He wants to be your Number One. Ask Him to come into your life through Jesus today.
Thank you for reading.
Till we see you again remember to stay inspired.
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