Let No Man Despise Thy Youth pt 3

By -
5. Emotional Intelligence: This has to do with the ability to manage your emotions under all circumstances. If you are an impulsive person people will not take you seriously. Such people function based on what emotional state they are. 

So when they are happy, you will see them junping around. When they are sad, you see them incapacitated by that feeling. When they are angry, they can set an entire building on fire. And when you question them they will often justify their actions and blame it on their feelings. 

Truth be told, if you cannot master your feelings you will never be able to command the respect of those around you. If your feelings control you people won't know how to relate with you. 

Feelings vacilate, and since you have made yourself a subject to your feelings you will go about acting like someone that is suffering from schizophrenia. 

Let me make two important points at this junction and I will focus on the second point a little:

a. Our feelings are ours to control. They were not given to us so they can control us. 

b. Controlling your feelings does not happen automatically, it is something that has to be learned. So, how do you  control your feelings? There are many ways to do that, but the simplest of them all is to choose your actions wisely. 

Taking responsibility for your actions even before the act is the easiest way to gain control over your feelings. 

Don't let the feeling choose for you, you choose for yourself. I learned this concept from Joyce Meyer "think about what you are thinking about". Don't be in a hurry to act, pause fid a moment and think first. 

Let's say you easily get angry and give expression to anger, and now you have realised that acting out of anger is costing you the respect of those around. So what do you do? You have asked God to help you, and now another scenario is playing out right before you and the usual response would be to get angry and say hurtful words or destroy things. 

You can pause first, take a moment to think about your response carefully before you act. Practice this always and you will soon gain control of your feelings. 

The poweod choice is a power that is given to every human on earth.  I wrote extensively about this in my book Grow Up part 1 Volume 1 You need to exercise the power of choice otherwise you will never be able to master your feelings. 

6. Mental cordination: This is the ability to use your mind in making meaningful contribution to conversations and proferring outstanding solutions to simple and complex problems. 

The ability to coordinate your words and actions effectively will help you earn the respect of your contemporaries and even that of those that have gone ahead of you. 

Remember how you felt the last time you were having a conversation in a group and one of the participants kept moving the conversation in the wrong direction with vain remark? Imagine you were the one making all those remark that had no bearing with the conversation and how your listeners felt that day. 

The ability to coordinate your thoughts and actions will show in everything that you do. When the Queen of Sheba saw the wisdom of King Solomon the level of respect she had for him went to another level. He didn't have to say anything to create that impression, his environment already reflected is mental construct. 

Another thing to note about your mental cordination is your ability to solve problems. How quick and and well can you proffer solutions to problems? Do you keep staring at challenges until someone comes around to solve them? Or do you have the mental capacity to proffer uncommon solutions? 

It has been said that only 5% of humans think. 15% think they are thinking and the other 80% will rater die than think. Which category do you belong to. 

7. Go where you are needed and celebrated not where you are tolerated: Stop looking for who is not looking for you. Every human is psychological in nature and when your psychological needs are not met it can affect your functionality. 

When you are around those that love you genuinely you function better. The first thing you lose when you are around those that do not love you is their respect and the only way to gain their respect back is to only visit that environment because of necessity. 

Scarcity heightens value

Most times we wrongly assume that everyone loves us or think that we are a big deal. This cannot be further from the truth. You need to identify those people and places where you are truly loved and accepted and invest your time there than hanging around people who don't care about you. 

Lastly on this point, when you pay someone a visit know when you have over stayed your welcome. Don't let them tell you that you have to go before you take your leave. 

Continue reading


Follow us on Facebook, Pinterest

Welcome to your number one website for personal, mental and spiritual development. We are here to offer you quality content that will help you find and fulfill your life's purpose. Connect with us. Like and share our posts so others can also be inspired.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts

Let No Man Despise Thy Youth pt 1

By -
Image
Do you feel that you are being taken for granted? Do you feel that you deserve more respect than you are currently receiving? Or do you feel that your worth and value is not being acknowledged as it should? There are two ways to go about it.  You can either fight and bully people into respecting you or you can earn their respect by making a few adjustments. If you chose the later then this post is for you. Here are a few factors that will bring the result that you desire.  People often rate what level of respect to accord you based on their perception of who you are, and their perception is dependent on your presentation. In life, you don't always have a second chance to make a first time impression. Therefore, if you want to command respect then you must begin by ensuring that your presentation is not giving you out.  My idea of the concept 'respect is reciprocal' is this, if I respect myself and treat myself with value, dignity and honour others will have no choice but ...
Read more

The rat race vs complacency and mediocrity

By -
Image
  M any people are unconsciously caught up in a rat race today. They keep going in circles trying to get more out of life, comparing their self with their wealthy class mates, colleagues and contemporaries, with the feeling that the more wealth they are able to acquire the happier they will become. They will will rather trade their family and their health just to get the next dollar or a promotion at the work place.  This set of people are on a journey to satisfying the insatiable desire that resides in all of humanity and they will stop at nothing until they acquire everything their eyes can find.  On the other side of the street there are people who are satisfied with the level they are. They have no desire to change things around their life or to pursue anything that takes them out of their comfort zone.  They sneer at everyone who seems to be busy trying to make meaning out of their life, they consider such people to be greedy, selfish and reckless risky takers. ...
Read more

Let No Man Despise Thy Youth pt 2

By -
Image
2. Your words:  Your mouth is the window to your heart. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a reflection of the state of your heart. It means that no one can know the state of your heart until you speak because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  People come into a new environment and because they are yet to speak it is safe to assume that they are wise, especially if they are properly dressed. However, the moment they start talking people can either withdraw every form of respect they had for them because their words does not correlate with their appearance or they can increase the level of respect they had for them.  It has been said that giving respect to a fool is like placing a golden ring in the snout of a pig. When people can't find wisdom in your words or trace any form of value in your speaking it will be difficult for them to accord you the respect that you deserve.  It is better to remain silent and allow people to assume that you are a wi...
Read more

Excerpt: Grow Up part 1 Volume 4 (The Twelve Indicators Of Adulthood)

By -
Image
1 . To grow up means you no longer need to be supervised before you do what is right. It means you comply with best practices whether someone is watching or not.  You always want to keep an eye on your child because you can't predict their next move. It is difficult to let a child alone in a room without making periodic checks on them. You want to make sure they are not destroying something and when when you ask them to get something done, you always want to put an eye on them to ensure that they comply with your instructions.  However, as an adult if you still require such policing before you do what is right it means that you have not really transited into adulthood. If your boss can not give you an instruction and expect you to do as you were told, if your parents still have to follow up on you just to make sure you are not doing something contrary to what you were told then it means that there is a gap in your transition process.  Taking responsibility is the hallmark...
Read more