Excerpt: Grow Up part 1 Volume 4 (The Twelve Indicators Of Adulthood)

1. To grow up means you no longer need to be supervised before you do what is right. It means you comply with best practices whether someone is watching or not. 

You always want to keep an eye on your child because you can't predict their next move. It is difficult to let a child alone in a room without making periodic checks on them. You want to make sure they are not destroying something and when when you ask them to get something done, you always want to put an eye on them to ensure that they comply with your instructions. 

However, as an adult if you still require such policing before you do what is right it means that you have not really transited into adulthood. If your boss can not give you an instruction and expect you to do as you were told, if your parents still have to follow up on you just to make sure you are not doing something contrary to what you were told then it means that there is a gap in your transition process. 

Taking responsibility is the hallmark of adulthood and it is what you do as an adult whether someone is watching or not. You take responsibility. 

2. To grow up means you no longer conform to childish attitudes and behavioural expressions that are fond of children. We were able to establish in the previous volume (volume 3) of this book that a childlike mind is different from a childish mindset. We said A childlike mindset is the ability to maintain a light heart as you voyage through life. It is the ability to constantly detoxify yourself from any thing that has the capacity to weigh you down or cloud your judgement.

A childlike mindset is the ability to forgive yourself and move on whenever you make a mistake. It is the ability keep your heart free from offense and disappointment. 

A childish mindset on the other hand constitutes of every foolish attribute that is found in a child. These attributes define children. Attitudes of irresponsibility, inability to care for theirself, selfishness, disrespect and lack of coordination, etc. It is easy to know a child because of these attributes. They inform our understanding about who a child is, therefore, as you transition into adulthood it is important that you let go of these attributes and subscribe to mindsets that are befitting of adults. 

Nobody blames a child for acting like a child, we excuse their childish attitudes because they are still children. We don't expect too much from them because they don't know any better and cannot really display attributes that are beyond their age. However, as an adult such excuses are nonexistent. Everyone expects you to act differently because you are an adult. And when you consistently display childish attributes people often stop taking you serious and regard you as a child. 

3. To grow up is to become aware of the value of time. Do you have a sense of urgency about life or do you just pass through life sluggishly without intent. Do you invest time, use time or you are in the company of those who "while away time"? 

To be regarded as an adult you need to understand the value of time and be able to harness it's use intelligently. You must know that you only have one life and that life is slowly passing away with the passage of time. You don't have forever on this planet. Every second counts. 

We are usually conscious of the airtime on our phone whenever we are on a call. We are conscious of our time running out when we are in a café. But we are not usually conscious of our life running out. You can recharge your phone but you cannot recharge your life. You can resubscribe at the café and continue using that computer but you cannot resubscribe your life. 

Everyone of us has equal twenty four hours everyday, the ability to turn aside from every distraction and use that time effectively is an indicator of adulthood. 

As  an adult you must also be able to coordinate your time effectively for the betterment of your life and that of others. One thing that is missing in children is coordination; the ability to coordinate their senses and their movements. However, an adult is known by their ability not to only coordinate their senses and their movement, but by their ability to coordinate their time effectively. 

4. To grow up is to discover and rediscover yourself. It is to become aware of your identity as an individual. It is your ability to find your uniqueness and the intrinsic configurations that distinguish you from every other person. Adulthood means you no longer feel lost in the crowd. You no longer fel like a speck in the dust. 

It means you no longer go around with a contorted image about yourself, or continue to live with the faulty labels that people have attached to you over time. To be an adult means you are no longer obsessed with trying to be someone else. It is to be aware of who you and not who society says you are. 

Identity crisis is one of the hot topics that we will cover as this series progresses, but let me quickly add this here, identity crisis is the product of a faulty mindset and until there is a new mental configuration that individual will keep viewing theirself in a different light and never able to come out of that metal cocoon. 

5. To grow up is to refine your gifts, talents and potentials so that you can be an active contributor to the human race. Every human being is talented. Talent is not one of the commodities that our planet is deficient of. However, talent is not enough, it must be discovered, refined and deployed. 

Adulthood is not a time to delight yourself with the fact that you are talented, it is a time to do something with that talent for the advancement of the human race. There are many talented people who wander aimlessly through life. It has been said that the wealthiest place on earth is the grave because many people would rather die than do something with the talent that is embedded in them. 

Refining your talent is an indicator of adulthood, it is a sign that you have come of age. It is a sign that you are ready to be a contributor and not just a consumer. It is a sign that your eyes have been fine tuned to see the value that was implanted in you long before you were born and are ready to serve that gift to mankind. Refining your gift is proof that you are looking beyond yourself, an attribute that is scarcely found in children. 

Children often think that the world revolves around them, they always want to be the centre of attention. This explains the various kinds of drama and gymnastics that they often employ to get our attention. However, refining your gifts is a proof that you now understand that life is not always about you but about your contribution to human existence. 

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