Let No Man Despise Thy Youth pt 2
2. Your words: Your mouth is the window to your heart. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a reflection of the state of your heart. It means that no one can know the state of your heart until you speak because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
People come into a new environment and because they are yet to speak it is safe to assume that they are wise, especially if they are properly dressed. However, the moment they start talking people can either withdraw every form of respect they had for them because their words does not correlate with their appearance or they can increase the level of respect they had for them.
It has been said that giving respect to a fool is like placing a golden ring in the snout of a pig. When people can't find wisdom in your words or trace any form of value in your speaking it will be difficult for them to accord you the respect that you deserve.
It is better to remain silent and allow people to assume that you are a wise person than for you to open your mouth and expose your lack of wisdom. It is even more noble to openly acknowledge your ignorance and ask quality questions than for you to act as if you know when in reality you are just an empty barrel. Trying to rub shoulders with those that are more knowledgeable than you is not a sign of wisdom.
Some times it is wiser to remain silent and listen to what others have to say so that you can glean from their bank of knowledge than trying to create the impression that you know better. Those who know so much understand that one can never know enough and that no opportunity is too insignificant to learn something new.
The way to become a person whose words have value is to first add value to yourself by developing your mind on a consistent basis. I recommend you get my books for an in depth knowledge on how the process of transformation works.
Secondly, you must value every word that comes out of your mouth. Let your words pass through a filtration process in your mind before it comes out of your mouth. If you don't filter your words those who hear you will help you do the filtering and you may not enjoy the outcome of your negligence.
The third area to pay attention to with regards to your words is your self talk. How do you talk to yourself? What do you say about yourself when you are alone and no one is watching? Your self talk is a reflection of the price tag/value that you place on yourself. More of this in number four.
3. Your eating habits: This is one easy way a lot of people lose respect cheaply without their knowledge. There are healthy table manners and the fact that you are hungry is not an excuse to showcase bad habits when you eat.
You see some people eating and you can't help but wonder what part of the zoo they came out of. One thing about respect is that it opens doors of opportunities for you that you never thought possible.
This is the scenario I usually paint for people who justify their bad eating habits. You sent a job application to a high profile organisation, and two weeks later you were invited to have lunch with the CEO of that establishment. I can see you smiling already. I know you will be nervous and you will also exercise some level of restraint and decorum just to impress your host.
The question is, if you can do that to impress others, why not do it to impress yourself? Or you don't think that you deserve that honour? You can remove the nervous part and maintain the restraint and decorum part even when you are alone or when eating with your friends and family. Good habits in the secret will boost your ego and self-esteem in public.
4. Inferiority complex: This is also one major way that people lose respect without knowing. Inferiority complex is responsible for things like low self-esteem and timidity. A lot of people that struggle with inferiority complex were either victims of rejection or some kind or trauma when they were young, and for some it is a product of a lack of exposure or many mistakes that they have made in the past.
Whatever the case may be, you need to understand that you are not worthless, you are not a nonentity, you are not a sissy and you are not a speck in the dust. Your mistakes do not define you. I wrote in detail about this concept in my book book GROW UP Part 1.
How you see yourself determines how people see you. How you talk to yourself determines how people talk to you. How you treat yourself determines how people treat you. What you permit in your life determines the boundary of how people relate with you.
If you think that you are a nobody people will treat you that way. If you think that you matter in the scheme of things people will treat you that way. Don't get comfortable with people treating you badly. And don't let people get comfortable with treating you badly.
But it all begins with how you treat yourself especially when no one is watching. How do you care for yourself? How do you care for your environment? How do you manage your clothes? Do you make your bed when you wake up in the morning?
These little things, done consistently can help boost your self-esteem and help you earn the respect that you deserve.
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