Understanding Relationships pt. 1
Relationships are vital parts of our life. Man was created to be relational. Nothing grows in isolation. Nothing prospers in isolation. The entire ecosystem was designed in such a way that each organism depends on another for replenishment and for survival.
This crystalizes the fact that we were designed to connect with one another not just as a leisure but also as a strategy for our prosperity and survival on earth.
Haven said this, in other to build rewarding relationships we need to understand how relationships work and the principles that govern their operation.
It is costly to assume that simply because you are a nice person your relationship with people will automatically be satisfying.
Access to the right knowledge about how relationships work is what guarantees success in this area of your life and knowing how to handle this area of life is vital to your overall success and productivity.
There are people who cannot maintain relationships, one day they are in a relationship with someone or are part of a group, you see them posting pictures and having fun with these people and the next day things have gone sour and irreparable between them and those they claim to love.
Nothing will work if there is no one dedicated to making it work and that includes your relationship.
Despite the surge in the number of divorce in the society, there are relationships that have stood the test of time. They have passed through storms and high waters and instead of going down or going their separate ways this has only helped to solidify their resolve to making their relationship work.
Every thriving relationship is built on skill, knowledge and commitment not on emotions. (We will dedicate a section to talk about the role of emotions in a relationship).
FACTS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
1. Relationships are an avenue for addition, subtraction or multiplication.
No relationship leaves you the same. They add, subtract or multiply your possibilities and value.
When one relates with two it increases instantly. When three relates with six, the value changes immediately.
It is possible to know where you are headed in life by taking stock of those you call friends.
2. Relationships are systems of leverage.
A leverage instantly increases your chances of success and reduces the time and effort on your part. Your adult life is doomed if you do not have quality relationships. It means you will have to labour for everything.
This happens around us everyday, it is the relationship between a man and a tractor that makes it possible for that man to do things that are impossible for other humans to do.
It is the relationship between the modern man and an airline that makes it possible for him to travel from one part of the world to the other in few hours. That is the power of a leverage.
3. A relationship is a platform for influence.
Your friends influence you whether you know it or not. They influence your choices, your response system, and ultimately the outcome of your life.
Evil communication corrupts good manners. Most people were introduced into using hard drugs and alcohol by the relationships they kept. On the other hand, there are people that were introduced into prioritizing their life by simply keeping the right company.
Choosing a friend is synonymous to choosing the influences that govern your life.
4. Relationships are in levels.
There is no wisdom in treating everybody in your life equally. Everyone should not have equal rignt to your time and to your space.
You need to distinguish between those that have earned that right, and those that are yet to.
Your relationship with your spouse is not at the same level with the relationship you have with the person that fixes your car. The relationship you have with your boss is not the same with the relationship that you have with your siblings.
Understanding this fact will determine the level of your commitment and the priority you give to each relationship.
Using the Jesus model there are eight levels of relationship. We will be dedicating a different post to discuss this.
5. Every relationship is a reflection of the mindset of the people in that relationship.
This is worthy of note. Relationships in themself are not the problem. The reason why most people divorce is not because marriage is a bad idea but because of the mindsets of the individuals involved.
The relationship between two toxic individuals will always be difficult and challenging.
Nine bad eggs cannot produce an omelette.
Understanding the human nature and the various mental disposition of people is paramount to making your relationships work. We have highlighted some of those mindsets below.
12 THINGS TO NOTE ABOUT PEOPLE
If you understand this simple concepts and engage them in your relationship with people it will take your relationship to a whole new level void of the frustration and bitterness that characterize many human relationships.
These are possibilities and scenarios that can play out as we relate with people. We have also included the best response system when these scenarios play out.
The success of every human relationship is knowledge based and the absence of that knowledge is what most often leads to frustration in relating with people.
1. People will not always prioritize you: Give yourself rest.
2. People have their own experiences: Learn from them.
3. People have their own outlook on life: Respect it
4. People will always be people: Be patient.
5. People are dynamic in nature: Be discerning.
6. Some people will not like you: Don't hate them.
6. There will always be someone that loves you: Reciprocate.
8. People will support you: Be grateful.
9. Someone will be better than you: Don't compete.
10. You will be better than someone: Be humble.
11. Someone will need you to lift them up: Don't hesitate.
12. You will need someone to lift you up: Be loyal.
The above nuggets will help you to understand how to relate with people in any season or environment that you find yourself. When someone who once supported you suddenly stops prioritizing you, for instance, you will know what to do.
You must be knowledgeable about people otherwise it will be difficult to build a thriving relationship with them.
To be continued...
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